Good lord, suffer yourself to Belle Prater's Boy or Out of the Dust, and come back to me. Granted, that's just late 90s Newbury's, maybe they sucked less going forward.
If I wasn't already reading Tom Clancy and Robert Ludlum and Tolkien by that point, that kind of horseshit might have turned me off reading altogether at around 11-12.
That's a...really weird condemnation. I certainly haven't read all of them, but every Newbery Medal nominee I have read has been excellent.