Here's a good example of 'center-embedded clauses' making a paragraph difficult to interpret - it's from the revamped USA-Canada-Mexico trade deal, specifically a side agreement between the USA and Canada on energy-related trade:
> "Each Party shall endeavor to ensure that energy-related activities that do not result in a facility exceeding its previously authorized capacity and that are limited to performing maintenance work on, or ensuring the safety of, existing cross-border infrastructure may be undertaken under the initial authorization and shall not require a new authorization."
Unpacking all this is rather difficult. The intent appears to be ensuring that energy-related activities should not require periodic re-authorization by a regulatory body after an initial authorization is granted. An example would certainly help - a cross-border power grid interconnect, say.
The embedded clauses are of two different kinds. If our grid interconnect doubles its capacity, this would be a violation of the first (restrictive) clause, and would thus require a new round of authorization. Under the second (permissive) clause, one can shut down the grid interconnect for safety or maintenance reasons. Taking the grid interconnect offline to restrict supply and jack up prices would thus be a violation, although one could monkey around with this (see Russia shutting down Nordstream to Europe for 'maintenance' at present).
That's just one paragraph, the document is hundreds of pages of this kind of thing.
I feel like complex sentences like this need braces to make them clear. Like, programming-language-style indentation would help a lot.
"
Each Party shall endeavor to ensure that {
energy-related activities that {
do not result in a facility exceeding its previously authorized capacity
AND that are limited to {
performing maintenance work on,
OR ensuring the safety of,
} existing cross-border infrastructure
} may be undertaken under the initial authorization and shall not require a new authorization.
}
"
this is silly, but in this view I can clearly see "okay, where's the beginning and end of the stuff Each Party Shall Endeavor To Ensure".
Alternatively, this is the original sentence with the embedded clauses moved to the end:
> Each Party shall endeavor to ensure that energy-related activities may be undertaken under the initial authorization and shall not require a new authorization, as long as these activities do not result in a facility exceeding its previously authorized capacity and are limited to performing maintenance work on, or ensuring the safety of, existing cross-border infrastructure.
It is incredible how much clearer the sentence becomes with this simple change. The only part that remains even slightly challenging is "or ensuring the safety of".
Its not that silly. Many of these run on sentences could be made much more clear by using bulleted lists, which is basically what you are suggesting. Though, mixing ANDs and ORs can be tricky in such cases at times.
> "Each Party shall endeavor to ensure that energy-related activities that do not result in a facility exceeding its previously authorized capacity and that are limited to performing maintenance work on, or ensuring the safety of, existing cross-border infrastructure may be undertaken under the initial authorization and shall not require a new authorization."
Unpacking all this is rather difficult. The intent appears to be ensuring that energy-related activities should not require periodic re-authorization by a regulatory body after an initial authorization is granted. An example would certainly help - a cross-border power grid interconnect, say.
The embedded clauses are of two different kinds. If our grid interconnect doubles its capacity, this would be a violation of the first (restrictive) clause, and would thus require a new round of authorization. Under the second (permissive) clause, one can shut down the grid interconnect for safety or maintenance reasons. Taking the grid interconnect offline to restrict supply and jack up prices would thus be a violation, although one could monkey around with this (see Russia shutting down Nordstream to Europe for 'maintenance' at present).
That's just one paragraph, the document is hundreds of pages of this kind of thing.