As someone who tried and ended up broke and divorced...
You have to really know the business you are trying to break into and make your goals really attainable. Think in terms of figuring out how to generate even enough to pay your phone bill each month, then move up to a car payment, then to a mortgage. Build in micro-steps, making sure that you have stability at each level before you move up. Can you do parts of the business without building anything, IE: via spreadsheet or email, or a simple Wordpress site rather than something more elaborate? Partners are complicated - on one hand they lift the burden of doing it all yourself, but now you have a business relationship to manage; there's got to be a lot of trust there.
On the other hand - there's never a good time to do anything. There will always be a reason why now isn't the right time to pursue whatever you are considering. And, your spouse matters a lot. Whether they are supportive of who you are and what you want to pursue in life is one of the key ingredients of potential success. I'm not suggesting you trade one for the other, but you'll need to be very candid with each other about your goals and needs. Don't try to parent and spouse and career at the same time - dedicate time to each and be very clear with each other about which "mode" you are in, IE: spend Saturday completely with the family. Make sure you are supporting your spouse and their career / personal needs, but also set a rule 5-10 M-W-F is your business time (IE: whatever it is that works for your life schedule and needs)
I think that's the key - you do it via bootstrapping, and you DON'T kid yourself that you're building the next Apple Computer in your garage. As long as you keep your goals reasonable, it's hard to tell yourself that stupid sacrifices are worth it. (Most people would spend a year in Antartica with no phone for $AppleFounder, but would likely not do it for $moderate income, for an exaggerated example).
But be constantly aware that your main "customer" in your life is your spouse, and then kids. People put up with a lot without making it clear, often.
Someone as an outside observer who can tell you that you're starting to screw things up and you will listen can be incredibly valuable, both for the startup and for the family.
I was thinking about what you are asking as well, but now I solved my problem other way - I employed myself in the company I identify with, I mean I believe in what they are doing and want them to succeed. This allowed me to get the feeling like I am part of the company; it's not exactly like "this is my startup", but similar. I already do not crave to create my own startup.
You have to really know the business you are trying to break into and make your goals really attainable. Think in terms of figuring out how to generate even enough to pay your phone bill each month, then move up to a car payment, then to a mortgage. Build in micro-steps, making sure that you have stability at each level before you move up. Can you do parts of the business without building anything, IE: via spreadsheet or email, or a simple Wordpress site rather than something more elaborate? Partners are complicated - on one hand they lift the burden of doing it all yourself, but now you have a business relationship to manage; there's got to be a lot of trust there.
On the other hand - there's never a good time to do anything. There will always be a reason why now isn't the right time to pursue whatever you are considering. And, your spouse matters a lot. Whether they are supportive of who you are and what you want to pursue in life is one of the key ingredients of potential success. I'm not suggesting you trade one for the other, but you'll need to be very candid with each other about your goals and needs. Don't try to parent and spouse and career at the same time - dedicate time to each and be very clear with each other about which "mode" you are in, IE: spend Saturday completely with the family. Make sure you are supporting your spouse and their career / personal needs, but also set a rule 5-10 M-W-F is your business time (IE: whatever it is that works for your life schedule and needs)