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I enjoy hacking email copy so I rewrote this for fun trying to make it a little easier to take in:

----

Hi John,

I'm Joel, the founder of Buffer. Thanks so much for signing up.

It's probably not every day you sign up to something new so I want you to know that my team and I are here to make you happy, 24/7.

You should try out our awesome browser extension. It'll help you share amazing content to your friends and followers twice as fast.

Let me know if you have any questions or suggestions!

Have an awesome day.

Cheers! Joel

P.S. You can catch me sharing interesting content on Twitter, @joelgascoigne and the team and I usually respond to emails within a few hours.



While its shorter, I think its very bullet pointy - if you know what I mean. The original text reads more fluidly as if it was a conversation. Even though its longer, it has a sense of personality - making it more readable.


I agree. Over condensed copy can easily come off as insensitive and pushy. I feel this is pushing me to try that browser extension.

People should not be afraid of long copy, just make sure your hook is sweet enough to get people on board for a meaningful ride.


I agree, too. Sometimes, while trying to remove the superfluous elements, we kill the essence of the e-mail copy. The original one is fairly good.




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