> we will be able to answer with 100% certainty that we are not alone or unique in the universe since we recreated life in the fucking petri dish
I don't think we are alone, but this is not logically sound. The conditions in the petri dish might be easily so special that their natural prevalence is < 1 per universe.
The first time this happens in a petri dish will likely have to be under extremely controlled circumstances. But the process will be modified and toyed with once it exists and I think that this will eventually lead to whole spectrum of (quasi?)biological systems that together cover a broad range of environmental conditions.
I don't think we are alone, but this is not logically sound. The conditions in the petri dish might be easily so special that their natural prevalence is < 1 per universe.